If you read my very first blog post I told the story of coming back to comedy after a long break and a lot of life changes. Shortly after my “comeback to comedy” my dog suddenly passed away and it all came crashing down. I ended my blog by explaining that in order to literally “save my life” I added 2 new puppies to my dog family bringing it to a total of 3. It has been a hard year and I have been pretty much a “stay-at-home dog mom”.
The tragedy of losing Roxy Bleu made me insane and I spend more hours than I’d like to admit obsessing and checking on these dogs. Everything took a back seat to taking care of them, I realized that my body couldn’t endure another loss and I have been operating on a high level of vigilance that is probably incredibly unhealthy.
My health has taken a toll, I stopped going to the gym or eating right and as a result gained weight and that didn’t help my self-esteem much. But they say every cloud has a silver lining and I think for me it was time to start dealing with a lot of underlying issues, like my co-dependency and childhood trauma. I knew I had these issues but it took hitting rock bottom to become willing to do the intense work required to begin to heal. I have thrown myself into 12 step groups, EMDR and therapy; I’m back at the gym and trying to find healthier coping skills to deal with my pain.
One of the biggest discoveries I made was that I am an artist and I must be creative and so I am back on stage doing stand up and I am already so much happier. I never knew that it would take me almost a year to be able to take the stage again and I have missed it so much.
Please come out to a show and say hi! I’ve missed seeing all of you.